Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
