YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
