you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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