shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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