my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize