She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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