this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
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I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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