I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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