dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
