R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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