Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
