u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
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her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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