I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
