First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
