he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
