trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
