dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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