dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
