I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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