Me. At least after what I've been through.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Even my vagina gasped.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
