idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
