the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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