No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I pour the whiskey from now on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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