I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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