so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
