How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
