why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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