By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
