party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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