Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
