Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I'm really busy with my period
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