My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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