My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
