puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
