At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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