you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
