It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
