similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
