he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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