Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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