Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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