Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
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I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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