I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
FUCK WHALES
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
