so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
