I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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