420 ftw
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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