I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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