He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I want to fling myself into the sun
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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