I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
