is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
