I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
