I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
