dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I am morally bankrupt
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
