i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
