If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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