just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize