i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
