Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My feet surprised me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
