I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
