Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
