I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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