i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
