Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
