I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
