I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
