Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
